When I was a child, I was particularly cheerful and outgoing, and was loved by people around me. But in my first year of junior high school, my father died unexpectedly, which gave me a strong sense of inferiority and made me feel less confident than before. In the second semester of my second year of junior high school, when I went home on leave, I happened to see my mother and now my stepfather talking in bed, at that moment I lost control of my thoughts, and when I returned to school, I always thought nonsense, and I even felt that my teachers and classmates all looked like that man, and I was very confused inside. Later on, my mother and stepfather got married, and although they did a lot of work to make me accept it, I still felt even more lost, and always felt that I had lost myself and my self-confidence. In high school, I failed to get into a major high school and was very lost, always trying to prove through my grades that I was still the proud person I was, but for some reason began to have obsessive thoughts of inferiority complexes, which made me especially self-conscious. In my sophomore year of high school because of the poor relationship with my roommates, they even threw my bunk to the first-year student dormitory, I had to drop out of school. Then I went back to school and had to continue my education because I was too young, but I still didn't get along with my roommates when I was there, and this time I chose to take a break from school and study on my own at home, which was a terrible situation. After graduation I went into the military, but no matter where I went, I couldn't get along with others and always had obsessive thoughts.
Hello dear friend! I'm Quentin, I saw your sharing and first of all, I'd like to give you a warm hug, it's said that hugs bring a sense of security oh!
From your description, I can see that you used to be cheerful and outgoing and very likeable, but after the death of your father in your first year, your self-confidence dropped significantly, which is a key factor affecting your mindset;
When you saw your mother with a new partner in the second year of junior high school, I wonder if she had communicated this to you in advance? Or did you stumble upon it by chance? I suggest you have a good talk with your mother and ask her to seek your advice while understanding her. Although children are less involved in adult affairs at home, your feelings should be taken into account when it comes to major issues like this and parenting.
The sight of your mother after losing your father really added to the pain for you, and the scene back home created a stereotype in your mind that caused the problem to spread, so you think about it over and over again. I suggest you try to divert your attention, keep yourself busy more, don't dwell on those things, and get in touch with your classmates more often, find a close friend to talk to (feel free to talk to me as well).
❤ Right now your focus is on continuing to learn and grow, and since your mother made her choice, I'm sure she gave it a lot of thought;
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ You already have plans to join the military after graduation, which is great, it's an honorable thing to do to protect your country! If you have this plan, I recommend preparing early:
① You need a good body to be a soldier, so start exercising now;
② Do more things that are good for society and avoid negative behaviors;
③ Troop life is hard, but it builds your endurance, resilience and perseverance.
Learn to be independent and make yourself better. Friendships are cultivated slowly, don't rush, and think more when things go wrong.
These are my personal suggestions, I hope they are helpful, thank you!
