A coworker asked me to go for an evening run with her, and when I said yes and then refused, she got angry,
When I first graduated and started working, I was in a depressed mood for a while. At that time, I found a teacher to do hypnotherapy, and I felt that the effect was quite good.
Then a new coworker came to the company and she also had trouble sleeping because of anxiety. I saw that she was having a hard time, so I kindly shared my experience and said that hypnotherapy had helped me and suggested that she could try it too.
During that time, she asked me to run with her in the evenings, and I agreed at first, but then put it off. Mainly because my own depression hadn't fully stabilized, and when I spent time with her in the evenings, she was more negative, and being the straight shooter that I am, I just said I didn't want to run.
As a result, she got angry.
I also feel that everyone has their own pace of life and I have the right to choose what to do.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Hi! First, a cloud hug to you ~ I'm glad to see you share this and I hope my answer helps you. From your words, I can sense that you especially want your friend to understand, accept and respect you, but the other person's reaction makes you feel aggravated, guilty and even blame yourself.
In fact, as you realize, in order to meet the expectations of others, you first have to take care of yourself. It's hard to support others when you're low on energy yourself.
If a friend is angry at you for rejecting him, that's his emotion, not yours, and he needs to deal with that anger on his own.
To put it another way, he may have been angry because you didn't explain the reason for your refusal. You can try to apologize and simply explain that you were emotionally unstable at the time, and were worried that you wouldn't be able to respond well to his negativity, and that the rejection was actually out of concern. Of course, respect his choice to accept the apology or not, after all, you also have the right to follow your heart.
After all, we cannot give what we do not have. Only when there is abundance within can we be better able to help others. So, there is no need to seek to please everyone, as long as you feel at ease with yourself.
I'm Lilly, the little ear of the Answer House. The world and I love you.
