Have you ever realized that there are always some things in your life that you desperately want to forget, but they are always circling around in your mind; while there are some things that you want to firmly remember, but instead, they are easy to blur? If it's a major event that has a profound impact on you, it's still understandable that you can't forget it, but why is it that some gossip you've heard, the actions of people you've seen, or clips from novels and TV dramas suddenly pop up even after a long time?
If we could control our thinking and memory like a switch, it would be so cool! For example, when you study, you can instantly engrave in your mind whatever knowledge points you want to remember, and you will surely get a high score in the exam easily;
The heartache after a breakup, the unhappy little emotions, the embarrassing scene of a fight, you can clear it with one click if you want to forget it;
What's the pain?
Hey, sorry, I can't remember what pain looks like anymore.
But the reality is so hard that we simply can't do what we want. Thoughts and memories are like naughty children, always out of order.
However, there is actually something to this memory thing. Like those behaviors, novels or TV episodes you mentioned, the reason they still surface after years is probably because they were triggered by something.
It's often the case that something you encounter in your day-to-day life - such as a similar environment, the same emotion, a similar dialog or outfit - creates a connection with a past memory that activates the recollection. The process is lightning fast, so fast that you barely notice it.
For example, the same location, a familiar feeling, repeated lines, or a particular style of clothing could be the key to a memory. You can try to pay more attention and see if you can find these hidden clues.
Also, why do these memories bother you? Why do you want to forget them so badly? Is it because they bring you bad experiences or emotions?
