My mom is retired, and while my dad makes a good income, the bank felt that his job wasn't very stable, so they couldn't approve a loan for a new house.
The bank simply assumes that they have no ability to repay.
It's the second suite in the family, and they can't afford to sell the old house or take a mortgage on it.
Finally my parents thought of me and wanted me to join in on the loan together because I had a stable job and could easily get a loan from any bank I went to personally.
To put it bluntly, they asked me to be a guarantor, they said they wouldn't let me pay it back, but in case I couldn't I would have to make it up, and being late would affect my credit record.
1. It would be fine if it was just me, but I have a 20-year-old sister, so how will I keep the family accounts straight in the future?
2. once I'm a guarantor, as long as my parents don't pay off the mortgage, I won't be approved for a loan when I buy my own house.
3. Even if I can get approved, I won't be able to enjoy the 30% down payment for the first home.
The down payment has to be as high as 70% on a second suite.
4. I didn't let my parents use my CPF before because I had to put my name on it, and my mom and sister were not happy about it.
Now it's not like I live in this house, but I'm going to lose my first home qualification for nothing, and I don't even have my name on it.
5. I'm definitely getting married in a year or two, and if the other person doesn't own a house, it's not in my best interest to give my parents a guarantee.
Even if the other person owns a house and the repayment portion of the marriage may involve the husband's share, it's clearly the parents' house.
6. really a dilemma, can not refuse or compromise.
On the one hand, there is family love and on the other hand, there is personal interest, and it is difficult to make both ends meet, which is indeed a headache.
Your thinking is very logical and detailed, and I can see that you've given it a lot of thought and understand real estate policy and know the issues inside out.
It can be said that your concern is normal, people want to protect themselves. Even if they are relatives, involving real estate, such a big thing, but also have to say clearly in advance, to reach a consensus, to avoid future conflicts hurt feelings.
You are now an independent adult with your own plans for work, life, and marriage, but this request from your parents has disrupted your rhythm.
I wonder if you have talked to your parents about your situation and plans? Maybe they don't understand how difficult it is for you to make this request that puts you in a difficult position.
If you can communicate ahead of time and explain your current situation, maybe they won't ask for it so much and you can still work it out together.
You've listed a variety of difficulties, and there don't seem to be many good options. But consider if there is a "third way", for example:
Suggestion 1: You are in a good position, why don't you buy a house in your own name first and take advantage of the first home discount.
I don't know if your dad has enough funds for a 70% down payment? If so, you can help them apply for a second mortgage after you buy the first one.
Suggestion 2: If a loan is to be made in your name, insist that the real estate deed be in your name so that you are protected.
You also have the right to refuse if your mom and sister are upset. You can't be put in charge and not be given the benefit of the doubt.
Suggestion 3: No matter how you choose, help your parents to repay the loan or buy your own house, it is better to do property notarization before marriage to avoid disputes after marriage.
You feel in a dilemma, you have actually decided internally to defend yourself, but you blame yourself and don't know how to face your family.
It's normal that you can't let go of your family, you may not be fully independent psychologically and are afraid of hurting your family.
But you're an adult with your own path to follow, and you have to learn to let go of things.
It's not about falling out with your parents, it's about becoming mentally independent and having the courage to stick to your guns.
Most importantly, be clear about your bottom line and what you are willing to pay for persistence.
Then be prepared to take the possible emotional strain of your choice.
Finally, it is advisable to find a real estate attorney to consult and give you professional guidance.
Good luck.
