My ex-boyfriend works in the banking and insurance industry and is a salesman. He strongly recommended that I buy critical illness insurance, and asked me to bring my friends to buy it with him, saying, "Can you bear to see your friends fall into the pit when they get sick?" But I have no plans to buy insurance recently, and the premiums are expensive, so I did not agree. As a result, he hit back, said my pattern is too small, small people thinking, even break up are blaming me for narrow-minded, but also said that you want to enhance the pattern from the beginning of the purchase of insurance. This is clearly a PUA set, right? But I was quite fond of him before, this kind of person should not hurry to hide away?
Hello friend, quite happy to talk to you about this.
First of all, I have to congratulate you on leaving that guy. It's not that it's dangerous to keep going, but from what you've told me, you don't see eye to eye.
In the relationship, two people can not long, the key depends on the three views can be together. This "together" is not necessarily the same idea, but can respect each other's differences. Everyone grows up in different environments, the education is not the same, there are differences is too normal. However, if you feel that the other side is not right to start disliking, then the day will certainly be very quarrelsome.
It's like when your ex-boyfriend called you small-minded because you didn't buy insurance and you thought he was playing PUA. you're both speaking from your own point of view, but his words were a bit more one-sided.
If you do get together, it's probably going to be hard to get him to break the habit of catching acquaintances in the act of selling, or to get you to accept that buying insurance is a way to save your life. So you're smart to separate.
When looking for someone in the future, you can ask yourself: can you catch his worst side? Can he tolerate yours? If the views are different but can tolerate to get along, the marriage may be happy. Of course, no one can accept each other wholeheartedly at the beginning, but is willing to slowly grind the person, it is worth to go on.
Also, I see that you're struggling with "should I stay away from him". If you're so disgusted by his behavior, why can't you let go? What is it that you can't let go of? I'm assuming you're still on WeChat with each other, otherwise he wouldn't be able to sell his products.
If he's keeping you as a prospect, what are you keeping him for?
Is it because you once liked it and thought it would be okay to be just friends?
Or are you afraid that pulling the plug will seem like you're too cruel and characteristically incapable of doing it?
Or want to hold on to some good memories?
And then maybe it's about not being able to let go of the person you were when you were in love? There's a saying that's pretty true: "We're in love when we're actually in love with the self that's in love." Maybe when you're with him, you find yourself especially bright and feel like you shine. If that's the case, remember those shining moments and you don't have to fall in love to fall in love with yourself.
Good luck meeting the right person sooner rather than later.
